In addition to evaluating the enormous expectations you probably have of yourself to be a super parent to your super energetic child, evaluate your expectations of your child as well.
Don’t set your child up for the impossible, particularly in social situations. Many of us have experienced embarrassment and humiliation upon taking their child to an venue or event that is just not suitable for our high energy children... which in turn, often lends to penalizing the child and leading then to parental heartache and guilt over the whole circumstance. So, from my own humiliating and embarrassing experiences, here’s my take on places that are NO GO:
Restaurants – particularly those not specifically geared to kids! This is a big fat NO for children with excess energy. Sometimes we think, “oh maybe this time it will be different.” That mentality is just not fair to do to your child. That expectation that our child will sit still in a restaurant is completely unreasonable. I am not just referring to fancy restaurants with nice linens and candlelight…it could be any restaurant aside from one that is located in a Chuck E Cheese or one is totally geared to kids. Even going to a TGIF can be a nightmare if your child has excess energy.
Religious Services – Not recommended! For the most part, most places have a religious education program or daycare available. Take advantage of this. Asking a high-energy child to sit without squirming and making noise during a religious service is just not gonna happen. If there is a special family occasion where services are required, consider sitting in the back, on the end of a row and consider bringing etch a sketch or a draw and erase board, crayons, etc. to keep your child busy. Give them a short spiel before it starts, but don't go over lecturing... it will waste your time. Also, try to plan ahead that you will take you child out for a break so they can talk or move if the service is longer than 15 minutes.
Theatre/Shows – For the most part, no. The last thing you want to do is pay a lot of money for anything from Broadway show to a movie and walk out after 10 minutes because you child is jumping in the seat or lingering down the aisles. If the show is very animated, loud and completely kid appropriate, this may be an exception.
What happens when a family member is having a special dinner out? Again, don’t set you or your child up for failure. If your family insists your child be there and you know Joey will not sit for a 2-hour dinner at an Italian bistro for Uncle Carl’s birthday, speak up… suggest a kid-friendly alternative or possibly celebrating at someone’s house instead. If this is not an option, consider getting a babysitter for Joey and explain to the family that as much as he’d like to be there, you felt it was prudent to have him stay home.
This all doesn’t mean you will be banned from these types of activities FOREVER or that your child will be either. Just like when a child is sick and you have to re-introduce foods slowly…re-introduce activities as you feel you child is beginning to attain more self-control. Start out slow. See if they can keep their energy level at bay to suit the venue or occasion. Take each even as a step-by-step process. Have a back up plan and go in to it with the idea that you may only try to stay at the even for an hour or that you will have to take breaks or turns with your spouse letting the child go to another room or work on a different activity throughout the event.
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