The Key Factors to Remember in Parenting High Energy Children:
To have a happy, healthy relationship with your high-energy child it takes…
1. Preparation
2. Patience
3. Perseverance
Preparation is key because parenting a high-energy child is not a mindless job. It takes work to ensure that you can provide the type of atmosphere that your child will best thrive in, with the least amount of contention or conflict. It takes thinking ahead, planning and prepping. It takes having a little “bag of tricks” ready and available to use when we need it. Yes, we will need to set time aside to prepare for things we need to keep our child in check.
Patience. This is above all the most important factor since this is what we need on daily, even hourly basis to deal with a child with excess energy. Patience does not come naturally to all people. Some of us are short-tempered, impatient and intolerant of other people’s actions.
So if patience isn’t in your deck of cards, then it is high time you find a way to acquire more, either by learning new skills such as mindfulness, mediation or some other relaxation technique.
You must face the fact that your child is separate from you, they have a mind of their own and you cannot, no matter how hard you try, control their mind or their every movement. Just as you wouldn’t want a puppeteer standing over you controlling your movements, neither does your child. We need to learn ways to guide their behavior, but more importantly “deal” with the behavior so that our sanity and well-being doesn’t get overloaded.
Lastly, perseverance. Again, this is a process, a long process. Don’t expect to read through any book or website and get immediate results. Remember, what works for one might not work for another so try many routes.
Don’t give up or give in and say, “my child is just too difficult” or “this can’t be done…they just have to grow out it.” You can see and will changes. Not only in your child, but in yourself. So know from the get go that it takes perseverance, and that you must push forward until you find something that works for you and your child so you can better the relationship. Don’t expect a quick fix. And keep in mind that even when you do see results, even when milestones are achieved, that it is a constant process that likely go on until you child is ready to head off to college. So buckle up, it’s a long ride.
Showing posts with label hyperactivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hyperactivity. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Goals
Think in perspective. Kids are kids. Times have changed, but children have, and will always be energetic. Would you prefer a child that acted like a robot or sat around doing nothing? Then, something would be truly wrong.
Focus on the positive side. A child with boundless energy need not be source of headache and worry. A child like this can make the world a better place. People with energy like this can help build, create and motivate others.
Take advantage of all that excess energy you child has and let it pass onto you. Don’t think, “this will wear me down”—think, “this will pump me up!” It is true that movement and exercise actually gives us (as adults) more energy. Take your child’s vibe and use it to get you moving, whether it be to exercise, dance, or cleaning. This is why some people join a gym, to catch the energy vibe of those around them to get them moving. You get this for free, right at home with your child.
Realize that helping your child control their excess energy is a step-by-step process that requires patience and understanding. This patience and understanding must come from you as well as those around your child.
Don’t pressure your child to be something they are not. Remember who they are and that this energy is part of their inner being, not something they personally want to torture you with.
Don’t tolerate deviant behavior. Having too much energy is not an excuse to harm or do things that are downright wrong. Children can learn to work with their energy in positive ways.
Don’t agonize over what their teachers say. Teachers mean well and are likely frustrated because they have their hands full. Sometimes they can make a mountain out of a molehill, but keep in mind that what they see is not the end all and be all…you know the potential in your child and as the parent you must be the positive force they need to keep things from becoming an overwhelming issue when it is really not.
Focus on the positive side. A child with boundless energy need not be source of headache and worry. A child like this can make the world a better place. People with energy like this can help build, create and motivate others.
Take advantage of all that excess energy you child has and let it pass onto you. Don’t think, “this will wear me down”—think, “this will pump me up!” It is true that movement and exercise actually gives us (as adults) more energy. Take your child’s vibe and use it to get you moving, whether it be to exercise, dance, or cleaning. This is why some people join a gym, to catch the energy vibe of those around them to get them moving. You get this for free, right at home with your child.
Realize that helping your child control their excess energy is a step-by-step process that requires patience and understanding. This patience and understanding must come from you as well as those around your child.
Don’t pressure your child to be something they are not. Remember who they are and that this energy is part of their inner being, not something they personally want to torture you with.
Don’t tolerate deviant behavior. Having too much energy is not an excuse to harm or do things that are downright wrong. Children can learn to work with their energy in positive ways.
Don’t agonize over what their teachers say. Teachers mean well and are likely frustrated because they have their hands full. Sometimes they can make a mountain out of a molehill, but keep in mind that what they see is not the end all and be all…you know the potential in your child and as the parent you must be the positive force they need to keep things from becoming an overwhelming issue when it is really not.
Introduction
Have you heard any comments of these about your children?
He’s a busy body!
He has no self-control!
She has ants in her pants!
She’s a real wild child!
She never stops talking!
He’s so annoying!
He won’t sit still!
She’s a spazz!
These are nicknames that could be thrown at them from friends, other parents, even YOU!
And sometimes, the descriptions are quite accurate; however, we have never really seen ants crawling in the pants, have we? That would be scary indeed.
So after a few bouts of dealing with a child that literally doesn’t want to sit down, or stop talking or pay attention to anything for more than 30 seconds, you have decided to run to the library or local book store or online searching for answers, searching for help, and most of all, searching for solutions... yes, you are tired, run down, exasperated...wringing your hands in the air!
Well, being a parent of a “wild child” myself, I have been there. I have picked up tons of books about the “strong-willed," "hyperactive," "ADHD," "spirited” child and found that I spent the majority of my time just reading about the obvious…yes, my child is a handful and yes, I am going to have to learn to make some changes. But that’s where it all basically ended. The book would spend 90% of the time telling me what, and why, but only a measly 10% on what to do about it. I wanted solutions! I wanted to know what to do!
And not simply paragraphs upon paragraphs of descriptions of long-drawn out solutions but quick, easy to read solutions. I was looking for a resource that had lots of them too in case I tried a few and they didn’t work…then I could at least go back and try more. And please, no more of the same old regurgitated solutions, I wanted new, creative solutions!
As we know, what works for one child might not work for another. So that is where the motivation to write this blog came from, to provide parents like you and me a resource of easy, simple, creative solutions to help manage your “bouncing off the wall crazy child.” And I don’t say offensively… we all know the seriousness behind having a child that has a little too much energy, but it is time lift up and look at the positive side of all of this and not dwell in the negative. Children and their energy level are time related factors. After all, children do grow up.
Those few precious years will be by in the blink of an eye and yes, when they are older they will sit still at their jobs, while they are on the train, in a restaurant…they will. These things will naturally happen, with or without significant intervention. But we are here to deal with the now, whether your child is a constantly climbing 2 year old or a fidgety, loud 7-year old. Let’s deal with the now and take this one step at a time.
He’s a busy body!
He has no self-control!
She has ants in her pants!
She’s a real wild child!
She never stops talking!
He’s so annoying!
He won’t sit still!
She’s a spazz!
These are nicknames that could be thrown at them from friends, other parents, even YOU!
And sometimes, the descriptions are quite accurate; however, we have never really seen ants crawling in the pants, have we? That would be scary indeed.
So after a few bouts of dealing with a child that literally doesn’t want to sit down, or stop talking or pay attention to anything for more than 30 seconds, you have decided to run to the library or local book store or online searching for answers, searching for help, and most of all, searching for solutions... yes, you are tired, run down, exasperated...wringing your hands in the air!
Well, being a parent of a “wild child” myself, I have been there. I have picked up tons of books about the “strong-willed," "hyperactive," "ADHD," "spirited” child and found that I spent the majority of my time just reading about the obvious…yes, my child is a handful and yes, I am going to have to learn to make some changes. But that’s where it all basically ended. The book would spend 90% of the time telling me what, and why, but only a measly 10% on what to do about it. I wanted solutions! I wanted to know what to do!
And not simply paragraphs upon paragraphs of descriptions of long-drawn out solutions but quick, easy to read solutions. I was looking for a resource that had lots of them too in case I tried a few and they didn’t work…then I could at least go back and try more. And please, no more of the same old regurgitated solutions, I wanted new, creative solutions!
As we know, what works for one child might not work for another. So that is where the motivation to write this blog came from, to provide parents like you and me a resource of easy, simple, creative solutions to help manage your “bouncing off the wall crazy child.” And I don’t say offensively… we all know the seriousness behind having a child that has a little too much energy, but it is time lift up and look at the positive side of all of this and not dwell in the negative. Children and their energy level are time related factors. After all, children do grow up.
Those few precious years will be by in the blink of an eye and yes, when they are older they will sit still at their jobs, while they are on the train, in a restaurant…they will. These things will naturally happen, with or without significant intervention. But we are here to deal with the now, whether your child is a constantly climbing 2 year old or a fidgety, loud 7-year old. Let’s deal with the now and take this one step at a time.
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